Bullying is still a big problem for children in Australian schools.
With the new school year underway, Australian students report they are feeling less safe at school than their peers worldwide, according to a recent report by The Australian Council for Educational Research (ACER). This leaves many families grappling with the question: does going back to school mean going back to bullying?
Matt Purcell, an anti-bullying advocate and founder of Social Kung Fu, Australia’s first fully digital anti-bullying training program, helps equip young people with practical tools to navigate and combat bullying. By drawing on his own experience as a bullying victim, Purcell aims to offer a “transformative” approach he says has already helped thousands of young Australians protect themselves through education and self-empowerment.
And it seems that change is desperately needed.
The data shows that Australia ranks second in the Western world for bullying rates among school kids. Most of it isn’t physical, it’s verbal. Children are being targeted for things like their looks, rumours, or even what they post online – and he believes that, with the social media ban for under-16s coming soon, it’s more important than ever to prepare kids for life both online and offline.
So, how can we help our kids feel confident and handle challenges like bullying? Purcell has shared some practical tips and insights with EducationDaily.
Tips for parents: Start the conversation
Create a safe space to talk
Pick a relaxed time – like during dinner or on a car ride – and bring up bullying in a casual way: “I read something the other day about how most bullying isn’t physical, but verbal. It could be about anything – rumors, looks, or even silly things like teeth. Have you ever seen that happen or felt that way?”
Let your child know they can always talk to you. Reassure them that you won’t embarrass them or make a big deal without their input. Say something like: “If anything happens, we’ll work it out together. I’m on your side.”
Share real stories
Talk about examples of bullying you’ve heard about (without naming names) and how speaking up made a difference. This helps kids feel less alone and more willing to open up.
Teach ‘Social Kung Fu’ to handle bullying
Help your kids feel ready to handle verbal bullying with these simple strategies:
Self-awareness
Encourage them to think about what bullies might pick on. Then ask, “Does this really say anything about me, or is it just them being mean?”
Example: If someone makes fun of their height, they can remind themselves, “I can’t control that, and it doesn’t make me less awesome.”
Self-acceptance
Help them feel proud of who they are. When kids accept themselves, insults lose their power.
Example: “I’m short, I’m Asian, and I’m proud of both. Their comment says more about them than it does about me.”
Ask questions
Teach your child to respond calmly and confidently by asking questions like: “Why would you say that?” or “What makes you think that?”
This throws the bully off and takes away their power.
Practice through role-play
In the car or at home, role-play bullying scenarios with your child. Practice calm, confident responses so they’re ready if something happens.
Prepare for the social media ban
If the social media ban happens, kids will need to adjust. Start creating fun, screen-free habits at home now to make it easier later.
Make screen-free time fun
Plan activities your kids will actually enjoy, like cooking something cool, having a family game night, or going on an adventure. The key is to make these moments something they’ll look forward to, not dread.
Lead by example
Show your kids that screen-free time isn’t just for them – put your own devices away and enjoy the moment with them.
Embracing role-playing to support children
Purcell told EducationDaily that “role-playing has proven to be one of the best methods to prepare your kid for virtually anything they want to master”.
“It has a number of benefits both relationally for you as a parent and for your child,” he says.
“You cannot just think your way or hope your way through tough situations. There’s a learning-doing gap in our culture. People may think they conceptually understand something, but that doesn’t mean they have the skill to use it when it matters.
“Role-playing is like sparring. Sparring isn’t designed to kill or harm, but to simulate real-world scenarios. It reveals gaps in understanding and prepares them well for the real world. By doing this together, you position yourself as the go-to source for help when they need it most. That’s the ultimate goal as a parent – you want your kids coming to you for guidance, not to AI or their friends who might not have the wisdom to help them.”
Although he acknowledges that some parents may feel self-conscious at the thought of role-playing with their children, Purcell says “there’s a lot at stake if you don’t take action”.
“One in five students are getting bullied right now, so hoping for the best isn’t a strategy. Without a plan, your kid is left to figure it out on their own or turn to online methods, which are rarely helpful.
“The best way to start is by putting yourself in their shoes. Remember when you were younger? Even if you didn’t experience bullying yourself, you likely witnessed it – statistically, most people have. Lead by example. Leading often means being vulnerable and sharing your own experiences. When you’re open about what you’ve gone through, it creates a bridge for them to trust you. “Hey, I want to verbally spar with you – no, you don’t have to know how to be Bruce Lee, but you do need to know what to say and how to think when it comes to these situations.”
He recommends parents should “ask your kid questions and arm yourself with some knowledge about the main types of bullying situations” and told EducationDaily the most common forms include:
- Gossip & rumours
- Lies
- Gaslighting
- Name-calling
“Engage with your child by discussing these topics,” Purcell says.
“Ask them how they’ve seen these situations play out or if they’ve experienced any of them personally. What kind of names might they be called? What would they say in response? How could they deal with lies or gossip? Role-playing these situations allows your child to think critically about different tactics and approaches for handling these encounters.”
Purcell told EducationDaily that bullying and big changes like a social media ban can feel overwhelming for kids and parents alike.
“But by keeping conversations open, teaching simple ways to handle bullying, and making family time fun, we can help our kids feel confident and supported as they head back to school.”
