It was 6 January 2014 when the lives of Michelle McLaughlin and her family were irreversibly changed. While on a family holiday during the summer break, four-year-old Tom suddenly stepped away from his family onto the road and into the path of an oncoming car. Tragically, Tom died before help arrived.
The grief left in the wake of Tom’s traumatic death is still felt by the family ten years later, with the hidden cost echoing far beyond the initial impact. Today, McLaughlin and her husband David use their grief as a powerful force for change, after undertaking a decade-long push to make Aussie roads safer for child pedestrians through the Little Blue Dinosaur Foundation (LBDF).
Since 2014, LBDF has been campaigning for effective road safety initiatives and community education, including installation of colourful LBDF safety signage around playgrounds and busy roads – and with young children navigating pathways to and from schools, kindergartens and childcare centres as back-to-school busyness begins next week, McLaughlin wants more parents, carers, educators, local councils and children to understand her message.
Currently, 76 Australian Local Government Areas have installed LBDF signage. While the family’s dedication to raising awareness of pedestrian safety has clearly had a significant impact, McLaughlin warns that there are still lots more changes needed to save Australia’s children from violent death on our roads.

Children’s development impacts ability to stay safe on the road
What she has learned since Tom’s death are lessons McLaughlin is now committed to sharing with as many people as possible.
“Children under the age of 10 are very vulnerable,” she says.
Without enhanced peripheral vision that teenagers and adults have developed, McLaughlin says that younger children are at greater risk of pedestrian road trauma.
“They also have slower reflexes where they can’t come to a complete stop when we call them with an alarmed voice – and they certainly can’t judge speed and distance of a vehicle if it is coming towards them. Because of all those things they can’t really apply the thinking skills that tell them whether or not they can make it safely across the road.”
McLaughlin says that young children tend to always assume that drivers can see them or will see them, “but we know that’s not always the case”.
“When I give presentations at pre-schools, or schools, or Rotary meetings or similar, it’s very clear that people do not know this information about children’s developmental abilities, including their ability to process sounds and pinpoint the direction a noise, such as the engine of an oncoming car, is approaching them. It’s almost like a disability, if you want to see it that way. They can’t keep themselves safe and they need education and instruction and supervision,” she told EducationDaily.
“But many people think that, around the age of seven or eight, a child is safe, and they can walk or ride to school because they have been taught about road safety and looking both ways before you cross the road.”
Road trauma kills too many Australian children
In Australia, road trauma remains the leading cause of death for children between 1-14[1], with 29 per cent of deaths occurring when children are pedestrians[2]. On average, one child dies in a crash on our roads every week[3].
“Our studies show educational interventions like LBDF safety signage increase awareness of child pedestrian safety in the community. Yet those with the ability to make a difference at a policy level are not acting fast enough to prevent this ongoing tragedy,” says McLaughlin.
“Meanwhile, children continue to die. In the ten years since our Tom passed, 131 children aged 0-16 have died in a pedestrian road trauma incident, 28 of them in the last 12 months.”
She says that, combined with the physiological and cognitive realities of a child’s development, there are other environmental factors that add to the risk of road trauma happening.
“These can include parked vehicles, shrubbery blocking the view, or other things moving in and out of driveways that can obstruct our vision. But children still just expect that drivers can see them, will see them and will stop, which is unfortunate, as it puts them at greater risk.”
McLaughlin says that these are concerns she did not fully understand, even though she describes herself as “a helicopter parent” who taught young Tom everything she knew to help keep him safe on footpaths and roads.
“When he was alive, I instilled road safety with Tom on our daily walks, with his little brother Hugh in the pram, heading to childcare. And he would say to me ‘stop at every driveway, Mum, check for cars’. He understood that. He understood the difference between the kerb and the gutter and the road,” she told EducationDaily.
“So, I think that, with him, in that instant, it was a case of him being over-tired, on a family holiday. He was very excited and just about to use surfboard that he had got from Santa.
“He was on a roadway that looked different from his home environment. These are some of the lessons I learned that I’ve been able to carry on and teach Hugh – and teach other families.
“You might think that your child is risk-averse and cautious like my son Tom was. But here I am, and I’ve lost him in a road trauma accident. In a matter of seconds. Instant death at that age after being hit by a car for a small child – and it happens frequently to other families.
“When my son was killed, he was in the company and care of multiple adults but the research also shows that, when there’s multiple carers, because each person might think the other one is on top of it, there is actually nobody fully on top of it, so it can actually make it more dangerous.
“You wouldn’t think that it would, but the research shows it actually does. You need a nominated person and restraining the child and holding their hand is the safest way.”
Understanding the impact of grief
When tragedy does strike, McLaughlin believes more must be done to support families who experience traumatic bereavement. At the time of Tom’s passing, she was a nurse at a leading Sydney hospital and had supported many families going through similar hardships. Her personal experience facilitated recognition of the ongoing impacts complicated grief had on her family.
“We continue to navigate the mental and physical costs. My husband’s business has been significantly impacted and my inability to process high stress meant I couldn’t continue my job as a nurse,” she says.
“The damage of our grief has extended to physical concerns, likely contributing to life-altering health issues. Financial impacts are also significant including long-term counselling costs and medical bills.”
Dr Fiona Martin is an Educational and Developmental Psychologist from Psychological Solutions with more 20 years of clinical and research experience. She says complicated grief or prolonged grief disorder is a mental health condition, characterised by a prolonging of the grief process beyond the common response, when distressing symptoms of grief continue for at least 12 months. This includes intense longing for the deceased person and significant preoccupation with thoughts of them.
People whose loved one died suddenly or under traumatic circumstances are at greater risk of developing prolonged grief, particularly when the deceased is a child of a young age.
“Prolonged grief can affect your physical health, and it can affect your relationships, and daily responsibilities,” says Dr Martin. “It is different from anxiety and depression. Prolonged grief is associated with higher risk for suicidal ideation and behaviours, even when controlling for depression and PTSD. Other associated conditions include sleep disturbance, alcohol and substance abuse, and major depressive disorder.”
More help needed for families
A new report, Navigating Grief: A Study of Support Services for Families Affected by Road Trauma examines effective grief support services for Australian families who lose a child to road trauma. The report shows challenges and limitations impacting delivery of services including resource constraints, geographic disparities, lack of cultural sensitivity, an absence of specialised programs, no technological integration for services, stigma, limited community awareness of long-term grief and programs that are not flexible to a variety of needs.
Key findings from the report emphasise the importance of providing holistic, long-term support that is culturally sensitive and multi-faceted, combining professional counselling, peer support, community-based interventions and practical assistance. Increased public awareness of the emotional and long-term impacts of traumatic grief is also crucial.
“There is a need for comprehensive support that is accessible and responsive to diverse and evolving requirements,” says Martin.
“Bereaved families often display extraordinary resilience, but this does not diminish the need for professional support and understanding as they navigate the complexities of grief.”
“Knowing the unique circumstances faced by families who have lost a child to road trauma, specialised support programs should be investigated,” says McLaughlin.
“Collaboration is needed between grief support organisations and road safety initiatives to create a unified approach to preventing child pedestrian deaths and supporting grieving families.”
The report recommends that alongside comprehensive and unified support, that immediate, practical assistance for families such as care support packages can alleviate some of the emotional and financial burden placed on grieving families and reduce feelings of social isolation.
Carrying a heavy heart
McLaughlin’s first-hand experience struggling to navigate her way through grief, particularly in the first year after Tom’s death, inspired her to develop plans for the LBDF Road Trauma Grief Support Packages for families suffering the tragedy of losing a child to road trauma. The packages will contain vouchers for services like childcare, cleaning and cooking. She is calling is on help to create and deliver these packages through community donors and partnerships with service providers.
“I just understand what it’s like to carry a heavy heart,” she told EducationDaily.
“It takes a long, long time to settle down within yourself and return to ‘normal’.
“I really battled in that first year after the shocking loss of Tom. I battled to care for our seven-year-old daughter who was also traumatised, as well as Tom’s one-year-old brother. My husband ran his own business, so he had to get back to work pretty quickly. It was hard on all of us.”
Having meals delivered by caring friends did make a difference but she knows that formalised grief packages providing a range of support is something that will have a meaningful and sustainable impact by connecting bereaved families with important services.
But while that is one of her missions, McLaughlin’s main focus through the LBDF is still always on prevention, in the hope that she can make a tangible difference to the number of Australian families going through what her family has.
“Little Blue Dinosaur has been directly responsible for 76 local government areas around Australia installing the signage. It’s taken quite a lot of work on my behalf. A lot of it has been about applying for community grants to help get the signage so we can provide it to local council areas but also having meetings to have the conversations that help raise the awareness so local councils understand why it’s Important and how it could help save lives,” she says.
“Having 76 local government areas collaborating with us is fantastic and I’m really excited about that. I feel a great sense of pride and achievement. But there’s 537 local government areas across Australia – and more needs to be done before more young lives are lost.”
[1] Australian Institute of Health and Welfare (2020). Australia’s children. Cat. no. CWS 69. Canberra: AIHW
[2] Australian Institute of Health and Welfare (2021). Deaths in Australia. Cat. no. PHE 229. Canberra: AIHW
[3] Australian Road Deaths Database: Fatalities, Current October 2024